Sunday, December 12, 2010

I am...

Doing things for the sake of your reactions.
Always questioning because the minute I stop is the minute I become a robot.
Never accepting "just good enough"
I sometimes wonder if I am truly awake.
Everything has an ending, I'm still trying to piece together the multiple tattered threads in my life.
Love is a gift, and I don't give it nearly enough as I want to.

Most of the time I'm listening, but sometimes I'm day dreaming.
Only when I'm bored do I get into trouble.
New experiences arise every day, but sometimes I'm happy with a simple repetitive motion.
Time seems to stop when I remember my dreams.
Every second I am wondering if what I am doing is what Daniel would do.
Time sucks, and so does growing up.
Opposite to what some people may think, I actually have no clue what is going on in my head.
Now more than ever I am wondering you I am.

Becoming Aware of the Moments

I didn't wake up this morning until 12:30pm when I was washing my hands and I realized I had been up for three hours already. Was I really on auto-pilot for those three hours? Its as if I had left my consciousness asleep in my room for the entirety of breakfast and only when I returned to my room did my body and soul reconnect.

This happens all too often in my life. One moment I'm in my room getting ready for the day and then, suddenly it's already the end of the day and I'm taking a shower, reflecting on what happened that day. So how do I stop from disconnecting?

I have to become aware of every moment. If I'm not fully invested in a moment than what was the point of that moment?